Note: This post was written according to Stream of Consciousness rules, a unedited brain dump written in 5 minutes. However, I have come back to update it, adding photos, YouTube clips and correcting and highlighting any errors. 

I wasn’t the biggest fan, though I  liked her music, and her voice and talent can’t be denied. Hers was the very first CD I owned. I Will Always Love You still sends chills down my spine. I’m Every Woman is ever present on my cardio playlist.

I can’t pinpoint why her death has touched me the way that it has. I actually cried when I heard the news. I was sad about Michael Jackson, but not surprised. I always had a feeling he’d die young. Teena Marie’s death broke my heart. I was a much bigger fan of her music than I was of Whitney’s.
Maybe it’s because I feel like I grew up with Whitney. Hers was one of the few, if not only, black images on the pages of the teen magazines I devoured when i was young.

Maybe it’s because I feel like I was a witness to her success.  I remember her on The Mike Douglas Show {Merv Griffin} singing a song from The Wiz and on As The World Turns w/ Jermaine Jackson. I remember sitting by the radio waiting for Eternal Love to come on so I could tape it. In fact, just threw that 20+ year old cassette away about 2 years ago. 

I remember getting “so emotional” watching her hug her mom at the end of the video for The Greatest Love Of All.  I remember watching that Grammy broadcast where her cousin Dionne Warwick could barely contain her joy as she announced that Whitney had won an award, and Whitney, having just performed in that cute red dress, ran back on stage, careful not to fall in those very high heels she was wearing, and hugged her cousin before accepting the award. I remember all of the post Grammy pictures with her clutching all the awards she’d won that night {she actually only won one}, grinning from ear to ear.

Those Grammys would be the first of many more awards:  415 awards in all, including 2 Emmys, 6 Grammys, 22 Amer Music Awards, 30 Billboard Awards & sold 300,000,000 albums (thanks Questlove for tweeting out those stats).

I love that Clive Davis always believed in her talent and never turned his back on her.

Maybe it’s because I saw that she struggled with addiction. Maybe I’m feeling guilt because I laughed at that “crack is whack” comment.  Maybe it’s because she’s been in the verge of a comeback for the last several years and though her voice wasn’t the same, I was hoping that she would succeed.

I don’t know why I’m so sad, but I am.  A beautiful voice has been silenced and a young life lost.  

RIP Whitney.

This was my 5minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post hosted by all.things.fedra. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
•               Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
•               Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
•              Publish it.